I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
