Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
