Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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