I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
