i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
