Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
