please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
