"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
