You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
