I'm drive I can fine osifer
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
