Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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