What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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