She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize