Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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