seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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