At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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