lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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