I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
