I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I cannot find my penis.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize