why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
