one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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