The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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