I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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