Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize