Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize