this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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