There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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