Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
