And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
