Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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