Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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