so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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