Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
