Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize