508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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