dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Farmville is her only friend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
sex in a hospital.. check
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
