She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
please come you make the beer taste better
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
