you guys were way drunker than both of me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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