I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize