I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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