This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Still dying that you shit outside
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
