HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
