I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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