I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
