Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is Oprah even human
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
