I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
