if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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