As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We have started to decorate penises.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
