Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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