something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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