i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
