Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
