Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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