oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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