my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
if you like me you must not know who I am
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
