I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
