I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i think i just lost a toe
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
