I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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