There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I did not marry a roomba.
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