He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
