Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
