He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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