The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
