K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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