College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
