Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
God, I missed his penis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
