Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
