You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
