Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
